I have troubled and mistreated my parents, now they have died, how i should repent, ...
The ways of honouring parents after their death include the following:
1. Offering a great deal of supplication (du ‘a’) for them.
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
{ and say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small”} [al-Isra’ 17:24].
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “When a man dies, all his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity (sadaqah jaariyah), beneficial knowledge, or a righteous son who will pray for him.” Narrated by Muslim (1631).
This supplication is one of the greatest ways of showing kindness to parents.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “A man will be raised in status in Paradise and will say, ‘Where did this come from?’ And it will be said: ‘From your son’s praying for forgiveness for you.’”
Narrated by Ibn Majah (3660); classed as hasan by al-Albani in as-Silsilah as-Sahihah (4/129).
2. Doing righteous deeds so that the reward thereof will reach them
such as giving charity on their behalf.
Or doing Hajj and ‘umrah on their behalf.
If they had left behind any debts or things that had been entrusted to them, then the son should strive hard to pay them off on their behalf. Or if they had wronged any people, he should ask those who were wronged to pardon them and he should seek to settle the matter with them.
3. Honouring their friends and loved ones.
It was narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn Dinar, from Ibn ‘Umar, that when Ibn ‘Umar set out for Makkah, he had a donkey with him that he would ride for a change when he tired of riding his camel, and he had a turban that he wrapped around his head. One day whilst he was riding that donkey, a Bedouin passed by him and he said: Aren’t you So and so the son of So and so? He said: Yes. He gave him the donkey and said: Ride this, and he gave him the turban and said: Wrap this around your head. Some of his companions said to him: May Allah forgive you, you have given this Bedouin a donkey that you were riding for a change and a turban that you had wrapped around your head. He said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) say: “One of the best acts of righteousness is for a man to uphold ties with the friends of his father after he (the father) dies.” And his father was a friend of ‘Umar’s.
Narrated by Muslim (2552).
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