Question of Wife ( Daughter in Law)
Can my mother in law ( Husband's mother) use my things, belongings and house?
It is the right of the wife to have separate accommodation with her husband, which is shared by no one else, whether the father or the mother or another relative, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
{Lodge them [in a section] of where you dwell out of your means} [at-Talaaq 65:6].
Permission to enter in House
{O you who have believed, do not enter houses other than your own houses until you ascertain welcome and greet their inhabitants. That is best for you; perhaps you will be reminded.
And if you do not find anyone therein, do not enter them until permission has been given you. And if it is said to you, “Go back,” then go back; it is purer for you. And Allah is Knowing of what you do} [an-Noor 24:27-28].
Assistance and Helping mother in law
But the wife should be easy-going in lending whatever she can lend of plates and the like, for Allah, may He be exalted, criticized those who withhold small favours or [simple] assistance, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
{So woe to those who pray,
[But] who are heedless of their prayer,
Those who make show [of their deeds],
And withhold [simple] assistance} [al-Maa‘oon 107:4-7].
Ownership of Husband
But if the items belong to the husband, and are still under his ownership, and were not given to the wife, and it is not the custom that they become the wife’s property in the event of separation, then in this case permission to use them should be sought from the husband, not the wife.
The couple should come to an understanding about the best way to deal with the husband’s mother and respect her feelings without impinging upon the rights of the wife or transgressing against her privacy in her own home and her right to that, and they should work to overcome anything that may cause trouble in order to prevent it, and they should deal with anything that may occur with wisdom, prudence, kindness and deliberation.
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