THE QUALITY ALLAH LOVES!
The ability to control one’s emotions and remain calm and composed is an extremely valuable – and rare – quality. This virtue is known as ḥilm (forbearance), and is a quality for which Allāh praises Ibrāhīm al-Khalīl (‘alayhi al-Salām).
Allāh says in the Qur’ān:
إِنَّ إِبْرَاهِيمَ لَأَوَّاهٌ حَلِيمٌ
“Ibrāhīm was tender-hearted and forbearing.”
(Al-Qur’ān, 9:114)
Ḥilm refers to the ability to control emotions at a time of a heightened temper and an uneasy mind, calming them both before they spiral out of control. It refers to the ability to stay your hand when you would otherwise have the ability to act immediately when triggered.
It is to avoid the burn of acting during an emotional upsurge. It is to think before speaking and to think before acting.
Ibn Ḥibbān said:
“Ḥilm is to stay the soul at the onset of something distasteful and to stop it from falling into the prohibited. In order to have ḥilm, you must first have cognisance (maʿrifah), patience (ṣabr), deliberation (anāh) and circumspection (tathabbut). Were ḥilm to have no praiseworthy trait besides stopping a person falling into sin and what is vulgar, this alone would make it worthy of being a characteristic of any intelligent person, and that at every opportunity.”
“When the intelligent person becomes angry and exasperated, he must bring to mind the ḥilm that Allāh shows him. Allāh is Forbearing despite the servant frequently transgressing His bounds and falling into sin. Doing this will help a person internalise ḥilm and stop any heightened emotion from spiralling into sin. Were ḥilm to have parents, one of them would be intelligence and the other would be silence.”
(Rawḍat Al-ʿUqalāʾ)
When understood in this light, we can truly appreciate the words of our Prophet Muhammad (sall Allāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) when he said:
إِنَّ فِيكَ لَخَصْلَتَيْنِ يُحِبُّهُمَا اللَّهُ الْحِلْمَ وَالتُّؤَدَةَ
“You have two qualities that Allāh loves: forbearance and deliberation.”
(Muslim)
🤲 May Allāh allow us to embody the qualities that He loves.