How to protect yourself from temptation of women?

Praise be to Allaah.

Allaah has created man in a world of trials and tests, and He has made Paradise the abode of His friends and beloved ones, who preferred His pleasure over their own and preferred obedience to Him over their physical comfort. And He has made Hell the abode of those among His slaves who disobey Him and preferred their own whims and desires to the pleasure of their Lord. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Such is the Paradise which We shall give as an inheritance to those of Our slaves who have been Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)”
[Maryam 19:63]
“But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires and lusts.
Verily, Paradise will be his abode”
[al-Naaz’i’aat 79:40-41]
And He says concerning the people of Hell (interpretation of the meaning):
“Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have given up As-Salaat (the prayers) [i.e. made their Salaat (prayers) to be lost, either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by not offering them in their proper fixed times] and have followed lusts. So they will be thrown in Hell”
[Maryam 19:59]
And He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“That shall be their recompense, Hell; because they disbelieved and took My Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) and My Messengers by way of jest and mockery”
[al-Kahf 18:106]
“Then for him who transgressed all bounds, (in disbelief, oppression and evil deeds of disobedience to Allaah).
And preferred the life of this world (by following his evil desires and lusts),
Verily, his abode will be Hell-fire”
[al-Naazi’aat 79:37-39]
So the Muslim must strive to worship Allaah and keep away from that which angers Allaah, for Allaah will not cause the reward the one who does good to be lost:
“As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide them to Our paths (i.e. Allaah’s religion — Islamic Monotheism). And verily, Allaah is with the Muhsinoon (good-doers)”
[al-‘Ankaboot 29:69 – interpretation of the meaning]
One of the fitnahs (temptations) with which we are tested is the fitnah of women, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I have not left behind me any fitnah (temptation) more harmful to men than women.” There follow some of the methods by which we can avoid this temptation. We ask Allaah to set the affairs of the Muslims straight.

1 – Faith in Allaah.
Faith in Allaah and fear of Allaah provide a safety valve and protect a person against committing haraam actions and following his own whims and desires.
If the believer becomes aware that Allaah is always watching and if he ponders the meanings of His names and attributes, such as the All-Knowing, the All-Hearing, the All-Seeing, the Watchful, the Reckoner, the Preserver, the All-Encompassing, that will generate fear of Him in secret and in public, and will put a stop to disobedience towards Allaah, and will reduce the strength of desire that leads many people to commit haraam actions.

2 – Lowering the gaze and avoiding looking at haraam things
The gaze can generate bad thoughts in the heart, which then lead to ideas and then to desires, then to will and resolve, and then inevitably to doing haraam things. Think about the meaning of this verse which makes a connection between the first steps towards haraam and the end result. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All-Aware of what they do”
[al-Noor 24:30]
Ibn Katheer said: “This is a command from Allaah to His believing slaves, to lower their gaze and avoid looking at that which is forbidden to them so that they only look at that which they are permitted to look at. If it so happens that a person’s gaze accidentally falls upon something haraam, he should turn his gaze away from it quickly.

3 – Warding off evil thoughts
Bad thoughts pose a danger to the heart… If a person dwells on them and does not push them away, they will develop into an idea, then into will and resolve, then this will inevitably lead to haraam actions. Beware of dwelling on passing thoughts; rather what you must do is to ward them off and crowd them out with good thoughts.
The treatment, then, is to ward off these passing thoughts and keep yourself busy with beneficial thoughts.

4 – Marriage
It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, and whoever cannot, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065.

5 – Fasting for those who cannot afford to get married
– because of the hadeeth quoted above, in which it says, “…and whoever cannot, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065.
Al-Qurtubi said:
The less a person eats, the weaker his desire becomes, and the weaker his desire is, the less sins he commits.

6 – Keeping away from bad companions.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man will follow the way of his close friends, so let each one of you look at who he takes as a close friend.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 8433; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in
Saheeh Abi Dawood , 4046.

7 – Keeping away from places of temptation.
It is obvious that we are living in a society that is filled with temptation – media of all types, magazines, flirting in the marketplaces, satellite TV, the internet, etc… So you have to flee from all of these in order to keep your religious commitment sound.

8 – Do not make your houses graves.
Make your house a reminder of obedience, not of sin. If a room is connected to sin for example, that will make a person commit sin repeatedly, because every time he enters that room he will remember the sin and may be provoked to commit the sin again. So he should make his room and his house a reminder of obedience to Allaah, so when he enters he sees the Mus-haf which he reads, and he remembers praying qiyaam al-layl for Allaah, and the regular Sunnah prayers that he offers in this room. Doing a lot of acts of worship in your house will make a connection in your mind between the house and doing good deeds, so you will do more and will think less of sin, and the calls of desire will grow less.

9 – Trying to make the most of your time in worshipping and obeying Allaah.
Time is one of the great blessings that Allaah has bestowed upon His slaves, but there are many who are not making the most of it. It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Two blessings which many people do not make the most of: good health and spare time.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6412.

10 – Remembering the blessings of the Hereafter.
Particularly appropriate in this context is remembering al-hoor al-‘iyn and their attributes, whom Allaah has prepared for those who are patient and steadfast in avoiding sin. This can help the Muslim to look at these transient haraam pleasures which only lead to regret and loss.
We ask Allaah to help us to avoid temptation, both obvious and hidden. Praise be to Allaah the Lord of the Worlds.

Ref: Islamqa

How to lower our gaze, How to control gaze, protection from looking towards females and women, How to control our eyes falling on haraam and unlawful things, we should stare girls and women, How to protect from adultery, fornication and zina, keep your gaze down, Don't look towards girls and women,

Sin committed before maturity and puberty

Suicide is haraam, prohibited and forbidden

Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Suicide is a major sin. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) stated that the one who commits suicide will be punished with something like that with which he killed himself.

Secondly:
There are known signs of puberty for both males and females. The male reaches puberty when one of three things happens: emission of maniy (semen), growth of pubic hair or reaching the age of fifteen years according to the Hijri calendar, which is a few months before reaching the age of fifteen according to the Gregorian calendar.
In females, puberty is reached when these three signs occur; in addition to that there is a fourth sign, namely menstruation.
It is not stipulated that all of these signs should appear; rather when one of them appears that is sufficient to rule that the individual has reached puberty.

Thirdly:
Accountability is waived for the child who has not yet reached puberty, until he reaches that stage, because of the report narrated by Abu Dawood (4403) and at-Tirmidhi (1423) from ‘Ali (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The Pen has been lifted from three: from the sleeper until he awakens, from the child until he reaches puberty and from the insane person until he comes to his senses.”

Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Irwa’ al-Ghal eel, 2/4, no. 297
In al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah (8/196) it says:
A person becomes accountable for fulfilling obligatory duties and refraining from haraam actions when he or she reaches puberty; one who has not reached puberty is not accountable … and (one who has not reached puberty) is not subject to qisaas (retaliatory punishments) and hadd punishments, such as those for stealing and slander. However, it is permissible for him to be disciplined. End quote.

A person from whom the Pen has been lifted because he is insane or is a minor is not subject to qisaas (retaliatory punishment) if he injures or kills someone, whether the minor had reached the age of discernment or not, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The Pen has been lifted from three: from the child until he reaches puberty, from the insane person until he comes to his senses and from the sleeper until he awakens.”
End quote from al-Haawi al-Kabeer , 12/181

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: A minor is not to be executed (in the case of apostasy), regardless of whether we say that his apostasy is valid or not, because the child is not subject to punishment, on the basis that the rulings on adultery and theft and other crimes that are subject to hadd punishments are not applicable to him to him and he cannot be executed in a retaliatory punishment (qisaas).

End quote from al-Mughni , 10/62
Based on that, there is no punishment in the Hereafter for a child if he does something before the age of puberty, which is attained when one of the signs mentioned above appears.

Ref:Islamqa

Suicide is not the solution of any problem, Allah will punish the person who will commit suicide, Islam prohibits suicide, Wait for Allah's help do not commit suicide, Suicide is not end of any problem, it is beginning of problem  and punishment, The person who will commit suicide will go in hell, Jahannam and Dozakh

Husband should fulfil physical and mental rights of wife.

Husband is not fulfilling physical, emotional,;mental, financial rights of wife

Husband is not able to satisfy his wife. Sexual desires of wife is not satisfied by husband

Praise be to Allaah.

Allah has enjoined upon the husband to treat his wife decently and with kindness, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And live with them honourably”
[an-Nisa’ 4:19] .
This is one of the rights that are common to both spouses; each must treat the other decently and with kindness.
Each spouse has rights over the other.
One of the rights that the wife has over her husband is that he should keep her chaste by means of intercourse with her. This is obligatory for the one who is able to do it. This is the view of the majority of scholars.
It says in al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah (30/127):
One of the rights of the wife over her husband is that he should keep her chaste by having intercourse with her. The majority of fuqaha’ – Hanafis, Maalikis and Hanbalis – are of the view that it is obligatory for the husband to have intercourse with his wife. End quote.
The scholars differed with regard to the limits within which the husband must have intercourse with his wife. The most correct opinion is that it should be in accordance with her need and his ability.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a man who does not have intercourse with his wife for one or two months; is there any sin on him or not? Is the husband required to do that?
He replied:

The man should have intercourse with his wife according to what is reasonable. It is the most important right that she has over him and is more important than providing her with food. It was said that obligatory intercourse is once every four months, or whatever is in accordance with her need and his ability, just as he should feed her according to her need and what he can afford. This is the more correct of the two scholarly opinions.
Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa , 32/271

Your husband may be suffering from some mental or physical illness and this may be what is causing him to refrain from intercourse or showing affection. You cannot be certain that this is not happening in his case, especially since you say that the shaykhs who have examined your situation think that he has been affected by the evil eye. It is not far-fetched to say that that the evil eye may be what has caused the change in his behaviour.

Dr. ‘Abdullah as-Sadhaan – who is a specialist in matters of ruqyah and whose doctoral thesis was entitled Diraasah Muqaarinah ‘an ar-Ruqyah ash-Shar‘iyyah (A Comparative Study of Ruqyah as prescribed in Islam) was asked:

Evil eye can cause death

Can the evil eye cause physical sickness or financial or social problems?
He replied:

Yes, the evil eye can cause a lack of healing from many physical problems and may even make them worse. It may also cause financial and marital problems, breakdown in relationships and a lot of calamities. How can it be otherwise, when the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Death among my ummah is mostly caused, after the will and decree of Allah, by the evil eye.” So whatever occurs of calamities that are less serious than death are more likely to be caused by the evil eye.
Majallat ad-Da‘wah , issue no. 2018, 15 Shawwaal 1426 AH/17 November 2005 CE
One of the duties of the righteous wife is to stand by her husband in such situations, because he is in the greatest need of someone to support him and help him in treating his disease until Allah decrees that he should be healed. If what has befallen him is caused by his material circumstances and social interactions, then you can win his heart by beautifying yourself for him, and treating him in a loving and kind manner, for you are his source of tranquillity. Allah has created between the spouses love and compassion that will make it easy for you to reach his heart and reduce the pressure that he is suffering because of his circumstances.

You should understand that the man is not like the woman; the woman can respond to her husband’s sexual needs in all circumstances unless she is sick, menstruating or bleeding following childbirth. But a man cannot do that unless he has energy and the desire for intercourse. Hence Islam does not oblige him to treat his wives (in the case of plural marriage) equally in terms of intercourse, because that depends on energy, desire and strength. For the same reason also there is a warning against refusing to share the marital bed on the part of the wife but not the husband.
With regard to your saying that you are afraid of falling into immoral actions, you should be patient and forbearing, and help your husband until Allah heals him. If you are not able to be patient then you have the right to ask for a divorce.
Your husband should hasten to seek treatment for himself; he should not hesitate to do so or be heedless or lazy about it. According to what you say, he is neglecting the rights of his wife and the wife has the right to be kept chaste. If he is able to do it then he should do so, otherwise he should divorce her and let her go in a good manner, if she cannot be patient during her husband’s illness.

We think that it is best to refer your case to an Islamic judge (qaadi), because he will be able to establish the facts of your husband’s case and seek medical reports, after which he will be able to issue a verdict on matters of divorce and rights.
We advise you to be patient in putting up with the situation in which you find yourself and to support your husband during his illness and do your part to seek a remedy for it, whether that is with doctors or psychologists, or with trustworthy shaykhs, so that you can find out the cause of his problem, as he may indeed have been affected by the evil eye.
We ask Allah to set your affairs straight.
And Allah knows best.

Ref: Islamqa

Rights of wife, Husband's responsibility

How to strengthen Iman and faith?

Praise be to Allaah.
You should have great hope in Allaah, and do not let the Shaytaan cause you to despair of the vast mercy of Allaah which He has guaranteed for His believing slaves. What you are telling yourself about this being a sign that you will die following something other than that which Allaah wants is only insinuating whispers (waswaas) from the Shaytaan and his deviant ideas by means of which he wants to tempt the slaves of Allaah and lead them away from their religion. So he comes to a righteous slave and whispers to him that his good deeds are of no avail, or that he is doing them not for the sake of Allaah but to show off to people, so that they will think he is good. All of these are the usual ways with which the Shaytaan tries to trick the slaves of Allaah, especially those who show signs of being righteous – of whom I think that you are one, although I do not praise anyone before Allah – to hinder their efforts. We seek refuge with Allaah from him.

You need to increase your hope and trust in Allaah Who forgives all sins, and who accepts the slave who seeks His protection and refuge, for He is the Most Merciful, the Oft-Forgiving and the Most Loving.

You should increase your good deeds, such as reading Qur’aan, giving charity, remembering Allaah (dhikr), upholding the ties of kinship, etc. The weakness which you feel also happens to others, for it is something natural. How many people were examples followed by others and had a great deal of drive and ambition, then they lost their drive and ambition for a long time, then it came back to them by the grace of Allaah.

Remember the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Everybody has his time of energy, and every time of energy is followed by a time of lethargy. But if a person tries to follow a moderate path, then I have hope for him, but if he becomes one who is pointed out (in the street), then do not think anything of him.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2453; classed as hasan (sound) by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi , 1995).

What is meant by “Everybody has his time of energy” is eagerness for a thing, energy and the desire to do good.
What is meant by “every time of energy is followed by a time of lethargy” is tiredness, weakness and lack of movement.

“But if a person tries to follow a moderate path” means that the one who has energy does his deeds in moderation and avoids going to extremes when he is feeling energetic and avoids being negligent when he is feeling lethargic.

“Then I have hope for him” means, I have hope that he will be successful, for he can continue following a middle course, and the most beloved deeds to Allaah are those which are continuous.
“but if he becomes one who is pointed out (in the street)” means, if he strives hard and goes to extremes in doing good deeds so that he will become famous for his worship and asceticism, and he becomes famous and people point him out to one another,
“then do not think anything of him” means, do not think that he is one of the righteous, because he is showing off. He did not say, “do not have hope for him,” as an indication that he has already fallen, and he will not be able to make up for what he has missed out on.
[From Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi ]
Think about this hadeeth, and relate it to your own situation and the situation of others: you will see a clear similarity. This hadeeth clearly states that man goes through a stage of incomparable eagerness and great focus and ambition, then suddenly he becomes weak and loses that focus and eagerness and ambition. When he reaches this stage, he must strive even harder to do obligatory duties and avoid haraam (impermissible) things. If he does that, then there is the hope that he will succeed and progress, but if he falls into haraam things and stops doing obligatory things, he will be lost and doomed.
So you must turn to Allaah a great deal, seek His forgiveness and ask Him to make you steadfast until death. I also advise you to keep away from haraam things. May Allaah forgive your sins and make things easier for you.

Ref: Islamqa

Moderation in following Islam, in doing ibaadah and good deeds, How to make faith and iman stronger?Don't be negligent when you feel lethargic and lazy

First rectify self then others

*Rectify your own self first then others*

Reference: An-Naseehah page 11

From the established principles of the religion is that the Muslim, before he busies himself with rectifying other people, should be concerned with the rectification of his own self, and striving to save himself from the causes of his own destruction.

Allaah, the Most High, said:

{By Time, indeed all of Mankind is in loss. Except those who believe and do righteous deed, encourage each other upon the truth and encourage each other upon patience} [103:1-3]

Allaah informed us regarding those who will be saved from loss and destruction, they are the those within whom the above attributes are found. Allaah  mentioned the establishment of Imaan and righteous actions within themselves. This is before their preaching to others by encouraging them with the truth and encouraging them with patience. This is therefore a confirmation of this matter.

Also, Allaah criticized Banu Israaeel when they opposed this principle, He said:

{Do you order other people with righteousness yet forget yourselves, whilst you recite the scriptures? Then will you not reason?} [02:44]

It is therefore upon the youth to be concerned with rectifying themselves before they [busy themselves] with the rectification of others. If they become firm upon this, and combine between following the religion of Allaah themselves as well as calling other to it – they will have actualized the guidance of the Salaf, and Allaah will make them an avenue of benefit.

They will therefore become callers to the Sunnah through both their speech and action. By Allaah, this is the greatest of ranks, whoever is guided to it will be from the best of the servants of Allaah on the Day of Resurrection.

Allaah, the most High, said:

{…and who is better in speech than the one who invites to Allaah, does righteous deeds and says, ‘Indeed, I am of the Muslims’} [41:33]

الإشتغال بإصلاح النفس مقدم على إصلاح الغير

المرجع: النصيحة للشيخ إبراهيم الرحيلي حفظه الله تعالى من ص11-

إن من الأصول المقررة في الدين أن المسلم معني بإصلاح نفسه وسعيه في تحقيق نجاتها والابتعاد عن أسباب هلاكها قبل اشتغاله بغيره من الناس كما قال تعالى

{والعصر إن الإنسان لفي خسر. إلا الذين آمنوا وعملوا الصالحات وتواصوا بالحق وتواصوا بالصبر}( العصر :1-3)

فأخبر الله عن الناجين من الخسران بأنهم من تحققت فيهم هذه الخصال فذكر تحقيقهم للإيمان والعمل الصالح في أنفسهم قبل دعوتهم لغيرهم بالتواصي بالحق والتواصي بالصبر وهذا تقرير لهذه  المسألة .

وقد عاب الله على بني إسرائيل مخالفتهم لهذا الأصل بقوله :

{أتأمرون الناس بالبر وتنسون أنفسكم وأنتم تتلون الكتاب أفلا تعقلون} (البقرة : 44 )

فعلى الشباب أن يعتنوا بإصلاح أنفسهم قبل إصلاح غيرهم فإذا ما استقاموا على ذلك وجمعوا بين الامتثال لدين الله في أنفسهم ودعوتهم غيرهم إليه كانوا على هدي السلف بحق ونفع الله  بهم وكانوا دعاة للسنة بأقوالهم وأفعالهم وهذه لعمر الله أعظم المراتب التي من وفق إليها  كان من خيار عباد الله منزلة يوم القيامة قال الله تعالى

{ومن أحسن قولاً ممن دعا إلى الله وعمل صالحاً وقال إنني من المسلمين} (فصلت: 33 )

Small good deed greater reward: Forgiveness of sins

The Prophet (Sal-Allahu Alaihi Wasallam) said

*If anyone say after every prayer*
*33 times SubhanALLAH,*

*33 times Alhamdulillah,*

*33 times Allahu Akbar,*

*ninety-nine times in all, and says (1 time)to complete a hundred*

لا اِلهَ اِلَّا اللّهُ وَحْدَهُ لا شَرِيكَ لَهُ ، لَهُ الْمُلْكُ وَ لَهُ الْحَمْدُ وَهُوَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيرٌ

La ilaha illal-lah wahdahu la sharika lahu, lahu-l-mulk wa lahu-l-hamd wa huwa Ala kulli shayin qadir

*his sins will be forgiven even If these are equal to the foam of the sea.*

(Sahih Muslim, Book 4, 1243)

Difference between scholar and ignorant person

*Imaam Ibn Al-Qayyim رحمة ألله*

*"A Scholar is alive amongst people after his death, while an ignorant person is dead amongst the people during his life even though he is alive."*

[Muftaah Daar As-Sa'aadatiayn 438/1]

Because knowledge of scholar is quoted, used and beneficial for people even after is death